Parenting Rule *1 Mom (dad) have fun

The Parent as a coach

To some, parenting comes naturally, that was not the case for me. I had to learn how to be an ok parent and through educating myself my new passion and curiosity became on how to raise children with a high EQ. One of the key side effects was,  I had to work on my own EQ and it had to be fun....for me, the parent, because if it was no longer fun, I had the tendency to become mean, judgmental and unkind. So as you can imagine not always an easy task and for sure not one that I alwyas mastred!

Key points of the parenting method

 

  •  understanding how we learn emotions
  • equality and appreciation
  • neither authoritarien nor laisser faire
  • the parent as a coach not as the best friend
  • clear rules and guidelines
  • no judgment
  • lots of feedback without judgment
  • lots of tools that work in order  not get engaged
  • consequences agreed up in advance
  • tips on how to stay sain as a parent

 

Example Whining

One of my least favorit child behavoir was when my kids used the whining voice in order to try to get something. However I realised quickly, that just telling them to stop did not actually work. I decided I had to give them an alternative, which I called the awesome voice. In order for them to make the distinction between the whiny voice and the awesome voice we had to practice and our diffrent voices. I did that with them during  a quiet and relaxed time, with a fun roleplay. After that all I needed to do is to tell them to try again but this time ask in their awesome voice. Since they now new what I was talking about the usually could switch, this did usally not only switch their mood but also mine